April 1, 2013 April 9, 2020 / Beings & Entities, Dark Comedy, Humor, and Parodies / Jeff the Killer, parodies, Slenderman / 18 minutes of reading


The dark, wet alley was slightly illuminated by Sarah’s cell phone light, as she shined it every few seconds lớn see where she was headed. Her eyes scanned the darkness, và she shook crazily. What had happened to her last night was a mystery. She thought back, back khổng lồ the bar. She had just came in with some friends, just a fun night out. Nothing could have happened, or so she thought. Now she was trembling, walking from building to building at three in the morning. Again she thought back, but everything was a blur. She passed an old ratty motel, & a pub.

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Sarah made her way khổng lồ the outskirts of her neighborhood, around a heavily wooded area. She walked, she clenching her eyes shut tight for moments at a time. She was huddled into her coat for warmth as the cold rain covered her for what seemed like an eternity. Just as her eyelids took cover of her eyes, something shined out of the corner of her vision. She instantaneously flashed her eyes mở cửa once again, & her pupils became wide. She looked around. Nothing stood out in the blackness và rain. She spun around and continued her way back, hoping she would make it home. As she studied her surroundings, she remembered a shortcut that she took as a kid when playing “Hide and seek” with her childhood playmates.

It involved climbing through the woods. The cold woman hesitated, but came khổng lồ the decision that anything that would get her to lớn her warm trang chủ quicker is the better way. Sarah headed towards the forest. As she made her way in, the first tree she laid eyes on had been marked. What was on marked on the tree mystified her, what looked lượt thích a circle with an X inside. She knew nothing of its origin or meaning, so she just assumed this was some kind of gang symbol, or something of the sort. Making her way into the forest, she recalled the fun times she had as a kid. She thought to herself out loud.

“I miss those times. Back when the world wasn’t a ba-”

Her voice trailed off. Sarah heard the loud crack of a tree branch off in the distance behind her. Terrified, she began running through the woods, và she soon became lost. She continued on anyway, hoping for a way out. Her lack of caution quickly resulted in her leg being caught on a near lying root, và she fell to the ground. Attempting lớn get up caused her even more pain. She had twisted her ankle.

“Somebody please.. Help me!” she called out.

The crunching of leaves became present again. She attempted to lớn stand up và run once again, but her injury kept her in one place. She clenched her eyes shut out of fear, and as she opened them again, a tall, white man dressed in a suit stood before her. She had become visually impaired at the sight of this man. She began screaming in terror, but was soon silenced by the slender, pale man that stood before her in the dark.

Four o’ clock. What once was a young boy, now was a cold blooded psychopath. Jeff the killer had just finished what he called his “Daily rounds”. The slaughtering of innocent people, this was almost all that flooded Jeff’s mind. He dragged his feet up the wet cement as he entered what he had called his trang chủ for years. Jeff stepped foot into a world of tragic memories, clutching two whiskey bottles in hand. Jeff had become a drunken killing machine. His brain was filled with the scent of murder. One thought that did cross his psychotic mind had been there since day one. As the rain hit the weary house, Jeff began to lớn recall the night in which he slaughtered his entire family. He chuckled at the thought. If it wasn’t for his insanity, he may have thought about regret. Remorse for taking the lives of the people he once loved. But that wasn’t possible at this point. Jeff was out for one thing và one thing only. Death.

Five o’ six in the morning. He took another swig at his alcohol.

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“What in the fuck am I sitting here for..” Jeff buzzed.

As he got up to make his way into the night, he swerved a bit, & took another chug at his whiskey. The alcohol hit his warm, bloody lips, và he felt an odd sensation. A sudden urge had hit him. He stood in the room, gazing out at the forest beyond the house. Jeff checked his pockets- cigarettes, a lighter, & of course his knife. Jeff knew that something wasn’t right. The feeling he got was a phối of the urge lớn kill again, & something far different than what he had ever felt before.

He stormed out of his home, into the cold,wet night. Jeff was now in a dark street, his only light source being a lamp illuminating the road. The rain, still pouring, hit Jeff’s back. He started lớn move in the direction of the forest. He struggled a bit, his alcohol consumption that night had been extremely high. The killer approached the desolate forest. Before he entered, he took a quick glare khổng lồ his left. Jeff was not far from a cemetery. He trembled towards it. A thought blew into his mind, almost like the wind on a breezy afternoon. The last piece of his family was only feet away, and it beckoned him.

He moved his feet away from the forest, and towards the graveyard. Slowly Jeff walked, yet he tripped a few times spanning the short distance. He approached a grave. Jeff graced it with the rotten odor of death, his jacket being covered in the blood and remains of his victims. Jeff simply gazed at the cold slab of granite. His vision was too distorted to make out any sort of words, because of this, he just stood & stared. Jeff’s insides began to lớn feel uneasy, & his throat became dry. The same feeling from just minutes before.

Jeff stumbled back lớn the forest. While trembling towards the woodland, his eyes wandered khổng lồ a tree a few feet farther out than the others. What looked lượt thích a small, greyish piece of paper could be seen hanging by a nail His eyes blurry, he was unable lớn read it. He took no attempt either, and crept into the darkness slowly. Almost as if he recognized this place, as if it were his true home.

Squeezing his two whiskey bottles, he studied the forest in a drunken haze. Jeff admired the darkness, it reminded him of a black hallway, one where the murderer could easily slash the necks of his victims without being seen. As he continued walking, Jeff became in a way, infatuated. The empty blackness swirled around him. Muttering to lớn himself in unrecognizable gibberish, he continued to trot. Something felt a bit odd. The crunching of leaves seemed too loud to trương mục for only one person. Jeff felt as if something was lurking beyond his line of sight.

“Who’s there?” Jeff growled.

An abundance of noise could be heard, but nothing out of the ordinary. The chirps of crickets grew louder as Jeff studied his surroundings.

“Come on chicken, I don’t really like games, and not hide & seek at all.”